Guys #20 through #48 all guest starred in my life in the summer of 2009, when I spent three months in Toronto. Whatever I had going with Guys #20 to #48, each and every ‘relationship’ had an expiry date.
A very big part of me resented the fact I was to leave the city soon. It’s not so much the abundance of sex I would miss. It’s that I met some people that could have been good friends or maybe even more than that.
Guy #36 felt like a very good friend for one night.
Sex dates are actually a great way to meet people. Sure, sometimes they have the formality of a job interview, but for every person that leaves you feeling empty inside there’s another one that makes you feel alive, valuable and even loved.
Guy #36 came to my place and had sex with me. It was awesome. Our sexualities were a near perfect match.
The sex didn’t last very long. Things went from awesome to modestly spectacular after the sex, when Guy #36 and I started talking.
We ended up really connecting with each other.
Guy #36 told me he had been in a car accident this one time. He said he didn’t know what pain was until that moment. His body was still recovering from it. Pain was a near constant for him.
It’s probably why the sex had been so good. It was his pain relief. I always thought of physiotherapists as masseurs with less sex appeal, but Guy #36 told me physiotherapy can be a living hell. Sex must have been like morphine to him.
When I told Guy #36 I would be flying back to my home country soon he seemed genuinely disappointed, but neither one of us saw any use forcing a clumsy transatlantic friendship just because we digged each other. We were fine with this being a one-time pain relief.
Sometimes it can be strangely wonderful to cuddle up with a complete stranger you met on the internet. Someone who’s been through a lot of pain.
I don’t miss Guy #36. I do miss Toronto because of guys like him.
And I really hope his pain is gone.
Relationship summary:
LENGTH: 3 hours
FORMAT: Intimate sex date with pain relief
SEX SCORE (0 = Lying to your parents <–> 10 = The best sex ever): 9.2
168guys.com 
I am not gay. I am however specializing in social work- getting my MSW. I read your blogs in hopes it would give me insight to young men struggling with their identity and somehow be able to help them. You are a very talented and witty writer. You are clearly very intelligent and with each post I could actually feel your confidence in yourself and in your world growing. It’s a rare talent to transform so profoundly and so quickly as you did. It may not have always been graceful (I lol’d on quite a few of those parts) but you grew from each experience both good and bad and you are a better person for it. Good luck on your journey. Just remember that you should always focus on loving yourself unconditionally- without even knowing you I can tell you are pretty great!
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Your comment left me a little speechless…well, at the very least it made me blush! One of the main reasons for starting this blog was so that other people (gay and straight alike) could relate to what it’s like to discover one’s sexuality. And to make people laugh. Thank you so much for your kind words and I fully embrace the advice you gave me. I hope my blog has been helpful to you. Feel free to use these stories wherever you think they might benefit other people. Thanks again and all the best to you, Lennard
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Great post. Touch and sex have tremendous powers for healing, and it is not at all necessary to link them to friendship or dating. Just being naked, erotic, and sexual with another person is often all we need.
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I totally agree. Sometimes you meet someone that just clicks with you on a sexual level…that can create a very special bond, even though it’s shortlasting sometimes.
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I love meeting people through dating/sex because like in this instance, people tend to be much more open than they would otherwise
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That’s the nice thing about sex, its nakedness…not so much in the literal sense (well, that too obviously), but in the sense that sex lets people open up to each other in a way they usually don’t in a doctor’s waiting room for instance. I always find myself feeling completely happy when lust and love combine the way they did with Guy #36. Okay, it was a three hour sex date, but I consider it an expression of love regardless. Guess I’m just sappy thay way:)
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