Guy #204 – Hottest consent ever…

The world is a beautiful place, but that doesn’t mean everybody you meet at an orgy is your type. I first met Guy #204 in the company of Guys #200, #201, #202 and #203. To me Guy #204 was the odd one out. He was the only one older than me and as such not […]

Guy #200 – The fan?

I first kissed Guy #100 in full view of about a dozen Guys that had come and gone before him, making the story of Guy #100 a flashback episode of sorts. The ‘eponymous’ Guy #168 was someone I fell in love with the moment I met him. The experience turned out to be so intense […]

Guy #196 – Another common side effect of GHB…

People look prettier when you’re high, even more so at orgies, where everybody is high, where you look prettier too. Guy #196 was one of the sweetest, caring and also oldest people I ever ran into at an orgy. His home was designed to facilitate gay sex in large quantities, but more importantly, it was […]

Guy #184 and #185 – Spread love, not scabies…

1. Intuition It’s knowing what you don’t know you know yet. It’s the most unreliable advice you should always listen to. It’s what I should’ve listened to the moment I first saw Guy #184. It’s what could have saved me a lot of agony. 2. Social obligation It’s doing what you don’t know you’re doing […]

Guy #179 and #180 – A hot Guy and someone who was also there…

Threesomes can be like a game of rock paper scissors, only rebranded as a game of top bottom woman. Of course, not everybody can win a game of top bottom woman. Top and bottom get along fine, but it’s not unlikely for a third person at a threesome to more or less just be there. […]

Guy #178 – Matrix Me…

There’s two sides of me. One is Matrix Lennard, cool, in control, super hot and capable of dodging bullets if only for showing off. It’s the Lennard I hope the Guy of my dreams will see in me. Then there’s just Lennard, my actual self, insecure, needy and incapable of dodging insults. Guys I am […]

Guy #176 and #177

It is September 11, 2018, I am 36 years old and at this exact point in time I have had sex with about 305 Guys. I say ‘about’ because, among other things, this story will show you sex is not a simple yes or no variable. When you’ve more or less had sex with some […]

Guy #174 – The one with feelings. And cocaine. And gonorrhoea.

Some time ago I wrote the ‘story’ of Guy #168, except that it wasn’t much of a story, but rather an overview of all my personal issues standing in the way of me getting an actual, loving relationship with a Guy. It’s not that Guy #168 is not a story I don’t want to tell: […]

Guy #172 and #173 – Quitting smoking is easy. I do it all the time…

Gay saunas. A lot of my stories take place in a gay sauna, even though I consider myself a sensitive person who prefers an intimate hug over an anonymous quickie. So why the many, many quickies? To me, sex with strangers is a bit like cigarettes: every month you go without them is a good […]

Guy #169 – When being yourself is easy…

Being yourself is both the easiest and the hardest thing to do. And usually, we opt for making it hard on ourselves. I for one am way too much of a people pleaser. It’s rooted in my innate desire to be liked and/or eternal fear of not being loved. The easiest thing would be to […]

Guy #166 – The thing with orgies…

“Can I fuck you?” were the first and pretty much only words Guy #166 ever spoke to me. I don’t remember much of our remaining conversation but imagine I must have said something along the lines of Yes, as Guy #166 in fact became the 166th Guy I ever had sex with shortly after the […]

Guy #165 – Two Guys, some drugs and a whirlpool…

Imagine for a second a universe that is truly infinite. Picture yourself traversing the cosmos for an eternity and more without reaching an end, only finding an infinite number of galaxies, stars and planets. If the universe is really infinite that means the atoms that make up my body, my friends, my Guys, my home, […]

Guy #164 – Attractiveness means nothing. And everything.

Here’s the thing with being attractive: It doesn’t really mean anything. And it means everything. Attractiveness is a conflict in and of itself. In many ways I feel I’ve been blessed with my looks, as I generally receive decent amounts of attention from Guys. At the same time I get rejected all the time. While […]

Guy #163 – Being a dominant kiss-ass…

Being a psychologist who spends a lot of time in places where gays get naked, I see insecurity the way that kid from The Sixth Sense sees dead people: Insecurity is everywhere. It doesn’t know it’s insecure, although in the end it kind of does and for some reason I feel it’s my duty to […]

Guy #158 – Dumped by an angel…

It was January 1st 2016, 4 a.m. I had spent the night before celebrating New Year at a party at a friend of a friend’s house, gobbling up the free wine as if there was no tomorrow. The place was Amsterdam, the city that never sleeps for a good two days a year, one of those […]

Guys #154, #155, #156 and #157 – My first orgy…

Porn. How I used to love it. Because if sex is enjoyable, watching people you kind of wish you’d look like having sex is a pleasant alternative. I was about 18 years old when I got internet. It’s safe to say I reached maturity to the tune of Pshhhkkrr​kakingkakingkakingtsh​chch​ding!ding!ding! When I first went online I […]

Guy #152 and #153 – Gay dating and the true meaning of the word ‘No’…

As is to be expected from a gay Guy over 30, rejection is an integral part of my daily routine. After all, most 20 year olds believe there was a time I roamed the Earth with dinosaurs. I rarely initiate a conversation with anyone on Grindr, but when I do it’s usually with someone younger […]

Guy #149 – The most forgettable of them all…

Do you really remember all the people you ever had sex with? It’s a question I get asked a lot. While I try to be 100% sure this blog tells the story of every Guy I ever had sex with, I may have forgotten one or two of my dates over the years. When I […]

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