Guy #197 and #198 – Orgy politics…

It’s always nice to be invited to an orgy. You may not be in the mood for an orgy, it might even come at a bad time, but in and of itself, someone asking you to join their private sexfest is a nice compliment if nothing else. While the great thing about orgies is that […]

Guy #184 and #185 – Spread love, not scabies…

1. Intuition It’s knowing what you don’t know you know yet. It’s the most unreliable advice you should always listen to. It’s what I should’ve listened to the moment I first saw Guy #184. It’s what could have saved me a lot of agony. 2. Social obligation It’s doing what you don’t know you’re doing […]

Guy #172 and #173 – Quitting smoking is easy. I do it all the time…

Gay saunas. A lot of my stories take place in a gay sauna, even though I consider myself a sensitive person who prefers an intimate hug over an anonymous quickie. So why the many, many quickies? To me, sex with strangers is a bit like cigarettes: every month you go without them is a good […]

Guy #169 – When being yourself is easy…

Being yourself is both the easiest and the hardest thing to do. And usually, we opt for making it hard on ourselves. I for one am way too much of a people pleaser. It’s rooted in my innate desire to be liked and/or eternal fear of not being loved. The easiest thing would be to […]

Guy #164 – Attractiveness means nothing. And everything.

Here’s the thing with being attractive: It doesn’t really mean anything. And it means everything. Attractiveness is a conflict in and of itself. In many ways I feel I’ve been blessed with my looks, as I generally receive decent amounts of attention from Guys. At the same time I get rejected all the time. While […]

Guy #163 – Being a dominant kiss-ass…

Being a psychologist who spends a lot of time in places where gays get naked, I see insecurity the way that kid from The Sixth Sense sees dead people: Insecurity is everywhere. It doesn’t know it’s insecure, although in the end it kind of does and for some reason I feel it’s my duty to […]

Guy #150 and #151 – Adam and Steve and some Guy they met on Grindr…

Put simply, the concept of threesomes tends to warp common boundaries people might have for what they consider normal, acceptable or decent. This is true for people who shy away from threesomes as much as it holds up for those that engage in them. You can’t enjoy a threesome if you’re not sexually confident. This […]

Guy #144 – Having an actual relationship…

The closest thing I ever got to having a relationship was going through an actual relationship with Guy #144. More precisely, a relationship with Guy #144 and his mother. The first time I met Guy #144 was on a sex date at his place. He lived with his mother as it turned out, who I […]

Guy #131 – The ring beard…

Blessed with everything but a plan or even the slightest idea of what I wanted to do with my life, I moved to the island of Curaçao in October of 2013. For a few years I lived in this tiny country, cocooned from the outside world by its climate, the beaches, the rum, the air […]

Guy #130 – The Lay After…

My mother and I never spoke much about my private life, though I did manage to reveal bits and pieces of it through our common, often morbid sense of humor. A few weeks before she died I granted her permission to come haunt me whenever she wanted, except for the times I would be having […]

Guys #125, #126, #127, #128 and #129 – Floating…

Baggage. We all carry it. And like drug mules bluffing their way through customs, we all lie about what we carry. It’s not that we have anything necessarily worth hiding, but baggage just happens to be a dish served best in installments. We all carry a vast collection of issues small and big, most of […]

Guy #119 – A vacation from my vanity…

As a gay Guy who frequents places where I face the scrutiny and judgment of other gay Guys, I try to take care of my body. I eat healthy, I even pack a few bananas every week, I run, I go for walks, I hardly ever drink alcohol, I reluctantly do push-ups, I plank until […]

Guy #118 – Dating alone together…

Sex is like food. Whether it’s caviar, a Happy Meal or anything in between, sex is something to look forward to. But unless it’s masturbation sex is not a dish you eat alone. Eating together can be very rewarding, provided both parties can agree on what’s for dinner. Guy #118 and I had met online, […]

Guy #112 – Gayspeak.

Social awkwardness is like quicksand: The more you fight it, the more you drown. I drowned the night I met and did Guy #112. I believe we both did, but I will never know for sure. Communication between Guy #112 and me was so bad I can’t even say if he loathed or loved me. […]

Guy #110 – The Oscar to my Elmo…

Sometimes life gives you lemons. Lemonwise, 2012 was not a great year for me. My mother was undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer, my brain still went sour at the thought of Guy #96 and I had to work as a telemarketer to make ends meet. Dating at the time was an escape. The same was […]

Guy #107 – The former model…

Not too long ago scientists discovered an Earth-like planet about 490 light years away. That means we get to see this planet as it was 490 years ago. The same thing happens in dating: Some people advertise themselves using selfies that were taken light years ago. In astronomy it’s interesting. In dating it’s just a […]

Guy #106 – Damn that beauty…

It is said that looks don’t matter. This is of course the biggest lie since Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman. Looks can fuel a crush as much as cigars can define a presidency. In terms of hormones, Guy #106 to date has been the only Guy to get me hard […]

Guy #104 – Best pity sex ever.

Sexting. Like smelling your fingers or wanting to kill your neighbor, sexting is one of those common things people rarely talk about in public. In the land of sexting everybody has libidos that last all night, cum spreads like supernovae and penises stay erect till the end of time. Sexting often doesn’t lead to an […]

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