Guys #186, #187, #188, #189, #190, #191, #192 and #193 – The weekend…

I first met Guy #168 standing next to this whirlpool at this gay sauna during this foam party: hundreds of Guys either in their prime or clinging to it for dear life, gathered in a building built to enable gay sex, it be under hot showers, boiling sauna cabins, misty steam quarters, foamy dance floors, […]

Guy #181 – Waiter must cut meat…

If a Guy likes me that much, something must be wrong with him. That was my main thought during my time with Guy #181. Guy #181 was actually kind of very hot. I say kind of, because he wasn’t perfect in each and every way: he had a great personality, he was smart, considerate, caring, […]

Guy #178 – Matrix Me…

There’s two sides of me. One is Matrix Lennard, cool, in control, super hot and capable of dodging bullets if only for showing off. It’s the Lennard I hope the Guy of my dreams will see in me. Then there’s just Lennard, my actual self, insecure, needy and incapable of dodging insults. Guys I am […]

Guy #176 and #177

It is September 11, 2018, I am 36 years old and at this exact point in time I have had sex with about 305 Guys. I say ‘about’ because, among other things, this story will show you sex is not a simple yes or no variable. When you’ve more or less had sex with some […]

Guy #170 – Oprah on a bad day…

I don’t like fat. It’s why I prefer walking over public transportation, why I have a gym membership I don’t use as often as I feel I should and why I have to digest guilt each time I eat ice cream. So when I meet a Guy and find myself confronted with the decision whether […]

Guy #159 – That thing I hate to talk about…

Let’s talk about anal sex. It’s a kind of sex the way artichokes are a kind of food: You usually don’t like it the first time around and good preparation is always key to success. More specifically, you commit sodomy about as impulsively as you eat artichokes. Delightful and healthy as they are, both require […]

Guys #154, #155, #156 and #157 – My first orgy…

Porn. How I used to love it. Because if sex is enjoyable, watching people you kind of wish you’d look like having sex is a pleasant alternative. I was about 18 years old when I got internet. It’s safe to say I reached maturity to the tune of Pshhhkkrr​kakingkakingkakingtsh​chch​ding!ding!ding! When I first went online I […]

Guy #152 and #153 – Gay dating and the true meaning of the word ‘No’…

As is to be expected from a gay Guy over 30, rejection is an integral part of my daily routine. After all, most 20 year olds believe there was a time I roamed the Earth with dinosaurs. I rarely initiate a conversation with anyone on Grindr, but when I do it’s usually with someone younger […]

Guy #150 and #151 – Adam and Steve and some Guy they met on Grindr…

Put simply, the concept of threesomes tends to warp common boundaries people might have for what they consider normal, acceptable or decent. This is true for people who shy away from threesomes as much as it holds up for those that engage in them. You can’t enjoy a threesome if you’re not sexually confident. This […]

Guy #149 – The most forgettable of them all…

Do you really remember all the people you ever had sex with? It’s a question I get asked a lot. While I try to be 100% sure this blog tells the story of every Guy I ever had sex with, I may have forgotten one or two of my dates over the years. When I […]

Guy #147 – Pretty woman…

I first saw Pretty Woman a full decade before I became sexually active. I particularly remember that scene where Richard Gere and Julia Roberts go down on a grand piano. Famously, this sex scene lacked any kissing, for Hollywood hookers don’t kiss on the mouth lest they get feelings. Aged 13 and with no real […]

Guy #145 – Look at me not being shallow!

Sometimes I like to look at human beings as I imagine aliens would. Aliens, in my view, would be unable to rank us based on our attractiveness. Voluptuous lips, muscled legs, dark blue eyes, straight teeth, abs…all of it would look equally random when seen from hundreds of light years away. The reason I try […]

Guy #140 and #141 – Letting go of the shallow…

The one thing I remember most from my dates with Guys #140 and #141 is the scenery. For a while I had the pleasure of living in a house right next to the sea. It even had its own little private beach. The sea in question was the Caribbean Sea, meaning I lived next to […]

Guy #139 – So sometimes hot Guys are into me…

When I met Guy #22, he was the most beautiful Guy I’d ever been with. When I met Guy #81, he was the most beautiful Guy I’d ever been with. Until I met Guy #106, the most beautiful Guy I’ve ever been with. Except for Guy #139 that is. I don’t know what to tell […]

Guy #138 – The hotness that is clinical depression…

A few years ago my father died. I never dealt with it very well. Sometimes I wonder if I myself want to live at all. Those were the words Guy #138 spoke toward the end of our date, mere seconds before getting in his car and driving off. More often than not, a sex date […]

Guy #136 and #137 – The ones who inspired this blog…

It’s not always easy not being the relationship type, especially when there are very few gay people around. In fact, living on a small Caribbean island most of my Grindr conversations were with tourists and the occasional flight attendant. My window of opportunity for getting dates was often small. There have been many, many gorgeous […]

Guy #133 – On the beach…

When you live on a tropical island and use Grindr to meet up with Guys, it’s all but impossible to avoid having sex on a beach at some point. Beaches can get dark and quiet at night. So when Guy #133 and I met up at his hotel lobby, we went out for a walk […]

Guy #131 – The ring beard…

Blessed with everything but a plan or even the slightest idea of what I wanted to do with my life, I moved to the island of Curaçao in October of 2013. For a few years I lived in this tiny country, cocooned from the outside world by its climate, the beaches, the rum, the air […]

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