In October of 2009 I landed a job that required me to spend a few months in Madison, Wisconsin. I was given a car, a hotel room, a laptop and a salary. In return I had to spend my days in a classroom getting a basic feel for the software my employer developed.
I did get a basic understanding of how computers work.
I also got gonorrhea.
If you give a predatory gay guy a hotel room, a laptop, a car and money, he will thrive like Donald Trump at a KKK rally. Getting dates in Wisconsin is easy when you have a car, money and a hotel room at your disposal.
www.gayromeo.com, www.adam4adam.com, www.manhunt.net, www.gaydar.com, www.craigslist.com, www.dudesnude.com and Facebook were but a few of the online places where one could get gonorrhea in 2009. Like I said, I had gotten a basic understanding of how computers work.
Guy #49 was as lovely as he was hot. Of all the Guys I had browsed in the Madison area he was by far the cutest, so I hooked up with him first. We had a great evening in my hotel room. He even spent the night with me. I love falling asleep in someone’s arms, even if they belong to a stranger.
When this stranger called me a week later I was thrilled, expecting an invitation for a second date. Why else would someone call me after spending the night with me?
“I’ve been having this weird painful feeling in my ass for a few days,” Guy #49 told me over the phone. It struck me as an odd choice of words to initiate a second date. He continued by saying he had seen a doctor and that he had been diagnosed with gonorrhea.
I had never disobeyed the rules of safe sex, but I guess I did bend them on a few occasions, such as that time with Guy #49. Gays often don’t use a condom when they knock on heaven’s door.
At the advice of Guy #49 I made a doctor’s appointment.
However, before I even made it to a doctor peeing became as frequent as it became hurtful and my penis started secreting slimy stuff as if it was auditioning for a role in Ghostbusters.
I’m all for gay pride, but I didn’t feel much of it when I pulled down my pants in front of my doctor and a nurse.
Two days after that glorious moment I called Guy #49.
“So I tested positive for gonorrhea too,” I said.
“Well, I’m glad we both know now.”
What followed was a conversation in which we both stated it didn’t matter who had given gonorrhea to whom, even though we both thought we had gotten it from each other.
Guy #49 made me realize how lucky I am not to have been born 20 years earlier, when AIDS consumed a generation, or 20 years later, when antibiotics may no longer be effective as they have been for me. 20 years earlier and I might not have lived past the 1980s. 20 years later and I would have spent a lifetime peeing in agony.
These days a lot of gay guys do more than just knocking on heaven’s door without a condom. Nearly everybody claims to practice nothing but safe sex, yet whenever you get down to it you’ll find that a shockingly large number of people are willing to make an ‘exception’ for you. I don’t think safe sex is the standard anymore.
Sometimes I wonder if there will be another generation of gay guys traumatized by a disease they alone appear to be vulnerable for. Knocking on heaven’s door might not be that much of a metaphor ten years from now.
Guy #49 and I never had a second date. Gonorrhea is simply more disgusting than casual sex is pleasurable. Seriously, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone to be grossed out by their own penis.
It took me one pill to shed the disease from me. Regardless, I felt shame being part of a statistic, a certain group of people that gets an STD. I even felt shame toward my employer. It’s not that I ever told my boss about my Ghostbusters audition, but I did feel bad getting gonorrhea at his expense.
Also, I had to refrain from having sex for a while. Suddenly the hotel room, the car, the laptop and the money had lost their value.
I did learn a lot more about how computers work though.
LENGTH: 8 hours, followed by two awkward phone conversations
FORMAT: Intimate sleepover
SEX SCORE (0 = Gonorrhea <–> 10 = The best sex ever): 8.7
6 thoughts on “Guy #49 – Knocking on heaven’s door…”
My blog was suspended (freakinthesheets) but I am glad I was able to find your blog and I can still read it! I love how you still managed to end this with some humor. I’m sorry you had to experience this but thankfully, it’s something that goes away!
Your blog was suspended? Please don’t tell me you got censored somehow! I found you on blogspot!
You bring up a really good point about keeping an eye out for our own health. As a very young adult in Manhattan just prior to and during the beginning of the AIDS crisis, the fear of a deadly disease was deeply implanted in me. While it has taken some work on my part to deal with this so that I can enjoy a sexual life, I am also glad that fear was the only obstacle I had to deal with. You can live a full and rich sexual life and maintain good health. It takes awareness on our part, however, so that we can assess the risks. It is so easy for any one of us to overlook these from time to time, especially since the joys of sex are so strong and a deadly epidemic more controllable. Then there are the nasties that you encountered that can totally surprise us no matter how aware we are. The more people discuss these things the better off we all are. Glad you wrote about this. Thanks!
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I can’t imagine what it must have been like to be gay in the early 80s. I grew up when a lot of people still died of AIDS. These days HIV is ‘treated’ very lightly. (I have been guilty of that myself as well on numerous occasions if I’m being honest.)
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I have a couple of friends who have gotten herpes which I’m terrified of. At least you got an STD that goes away
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Yeah, I think ‘gonorrhea’ is one of the most digusting sounding words in existence, but I was relieved to find out how easy it was to get rid of it.