When a relationship ends in tears, as it often does, it’s customary to remedy our sadness by hooking up with someone we have no emotional attachment to. It’s like taking a vitamin pill when all you really want is heroin.
In the case of Guy #96 the tears came before we ever got around to having an relationship. So instead of going on the rebound, I got myself a ‘prebound’ Guy, someone I hoped would make me forget about Guy #96 for a night.
While Guy #96 didn’t like the thought of me sleeping with someone that wasn’t him, I knew I had every right to. He was busy having a boyfriend after all.
Going on the prebound with Guy #97 served one single purpose: Relief.
Preboundwise, I could have done a lot worse. Guy #97 was easy to talk to, amicable, polite, sort of attractive and willing. We had a pleasant conversation that lasted a few hours and the inevitable sex that followed was far from depressing.
The depressing part came after the sex, when Guy #97 had comfortably fallen asleep and I was left to ponder my state of mind to the sound of his snores.
Guy #97 had given me my fix and it had been a decent trip, but now I was crashing. Given my innate allergy to snoring it was a rough landing.
The entire night I could only think about how much I wanted to be lying next to Guy #96 and not #97. I knew #96 was also lying in his bed somewhere, also with someone. I also knew he would be nowhere near as alone as I was.
I was wide awake throughout the night, trying to make sense of the ceiling. No matter how much I stared at it, my brain kept vomiting negative thoughts. I don’t remember what they were exactly, but my mind must have been home to a corny soap opera. People think the stupidest things when they’re in love. I’m no exception.
When the sun came up I was relieved to let go of the ceiling, but at the same time I resented having to start another day.
Guy #97 awoke in cuddle mode, not exactly the thing I was looking for. The thing I was looking for was lying in another bed with another Guy. I was definitely in the mood for cuddles, but not from Guy #97.
On the other hand, Guy #97’s attempted cuddle session did inspire me to get out of bed that morning. It would have been a lot harder without it.
Had I been in a better mood Guy #97 and I could have had a much better time together. He was definitely the kind of person I’d enjoy having breakfast with. It’s probably why he offered me some. Instead I excused myself by making up an appointment I needed to be at. I’ve lied to a lot of Guys in my life, but Guy #97 was someone I felt bad lying to.
I remember the outside being viciously chilly that day as I shivered my way to a bus stop, knowing I was out there in the cold while Guy #96 was probably involved in a cuddle extravaganza that didn’t involve me.
In terms of sex I suppose Guy #97 had been a decent date. But the plan to forget about Guy #96 had completely failed.
Both Guy #96 and Guy #97 were pretty great trips that ended in major hangovers.
It could be a rebound is really the heroin you take when you’re starved for vitamins, I’m actually not sure.