The world of sex dating is weird.
Total strangers can commit the most intimate acts.
Right now I have my phone lying next to me. I just checked Grindr. There’s a 46 year old Guy named Hungry Bottom looking for a fun top just 3000 feet away. He says hi. He doesn’t have a profile picture. Plus he’s 46, which is kind of stretching the age envelope for me. Then again, I can be a fun top if I want to.
I was that one time with Guy #54, back in 2009.
We had met online and later in my car.
If it wasn’t for the world of sex dating we never would have met. He was like Hungry Bottom in search of his fix.
He was around my age and not particularly attractive to me. As he stepped into my car I wondered if I really wanted to have sex with him.
The drive to my hotel room took about 30 minutes. 30 minutes of obligatory chit chat can be an eternity on sex dates, but not with Guy #54.
Sometimes nature has a way of bringing good people together. Guy #54 turned out to be someone who knew where to get weed in Wisconsin. It’s the kind of people I like knowing.
I don’t remember anything else that we talked about, but I do remember it being very pleasant. We laughed a lot, understood each other’s minds. After about 5 minutes of driving I found myself becoming attracted to Guy #54.
While I still had trouble finding Guy #54 physically yum, it did feel good to see how glad he was to be with me. It can actually be kind of a turn on if you have the power of turning someone else on, just by being naked. Plus I felt completely at ease with him, cracking jokes all the way through the sex itself. Sometimes it’s refreshing to talk a lot during sex.
For a good two hours we were like best friends on benefits.
Afterward I drove him back home, where we said goodbye to each other in a warm hug. We both knew we would never see each other again.
As pleasant as our friendship had been, we both knew it had run its course. It’s just inherent to sex dating. Sometimes you meet people you actually become friends with. And other times you meet people that are just there to give your ego a push in the right direction.
That’s what Guy #54 and I did for each other.
Presently, I give 46 year old Hungry Bottom very little chance of finding his one true top in me. My ego has been pushed enough over the years.
Casual hook-ups are something of a psychological experiment, a way to meet someone on account of his hormones, or possibly a lack thereof in the case of Hungry Bottom.
Sex is a great way to get to know someone. It reveals someone’s strengths, insecurities, (mis-)conceptions, even hopes and dreams. Sex lets you figure out what makes a person tick.
Now that I’ve had my share of Guys like Guy #54 I don’t think I have to meet Hungry Bottom to find out what makes him tick. Guys on Grindr are often very much alike these days, especially when they’re called Hungry Bottom.
The world of sex dating is weird. It’s not monogamous, but it’s monotonous.
And that seems to be a choice.
Hungry Bottom would have much better odds if he had made the effort to say more than just hi.
Perhaps I sound old, but these days people don’t seem to be interested in hungry bottoms for the sake of exploration. They’re just in it for the sake of it.
That’s what I gather from Hungry Bottom’s hi. That’s why I won’t be saying hi back.
Thanks to Guys like Guy #54 I can now save myself the trouble of getting to know someone I already know.
Sex dating is weird, because we are all Hungry Bottom.